A friend forwarded this list to me, and I felt that it was worthy of sharing with anyone that stumbles upon my blog, whether deliberately or inadvertently. In order to separate the wheat from the chaff, I took the liberty of cleaning up some of the chaff that always accompanies any e-mail that has undergone innumerable forwardings. I also took considerable liberties in revising the e-mail, including adding colors and using italics and bold letters, all in the interest of improving presentation of the Top Ten items.
I have a favorite among the Top Ten, and on the off-chance that anyone happens to reach this point in their wandering around the internet, I would be interested to know which of the ten is your favorite (I’ll tell you mine if you’ll tell me yours!).
HERE ARE THE TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR COMPANY HAS JOINED THE GOVERNMENT’S PROPOSED HEALTH CARE PLAN:
You’ll know you’re on the government’s proposed health care plan if:
#10—Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
#9—Directions to your doctor’s office include Take a left as you enter the trailer park.
#8— The only proctologist in the plan is Gus, from RotoRooter.
#7—The tongue depressors used by your doctor taste faintly of fudgesicles.
#6—The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
#5—Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you donated to Goodwill last month.
#4—The statement that Patient is responsible for 200 percent of out of network charges is not a typographical error.
#3—The only expense covered 100 percent is embalming.
#2—Your Prozac pills are of different colors, and each pill is stamped M&M.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN THAT YOU’VE JOINED THE GOVERNMENT’S NEW HEALTH PLAN IS:
#1—You ask for Viagra and they give you two popsicle sticks and a roll of duct tape.
August 12, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Hopefully no one will hurt themselves should they stumble upon your blog…
August 15, 2009 at 10:05 am
Thanks for the comment, and thanks for the grammatical nudge on my use of “on” rather than “upon.” I have made the necessary correction. I share your hope that those who stumble upon my blog do not actually stumble on my blog and hurt themselves—and if they should do so, I trust that you share my hope that they will not have to depend on the proposed health-care plan for treatment.