Christmas 2010—flowers, rice and chopsticks . . .
Cemetery scene: Having lovingly placed a bouquet of roses at the head of a grave, the visitor to the cemetery watched smilingly as an elderly Oriental man lovingly placed a steaming bowl of rice and chopsticks at the head of a nearby grave, and then asked him at what time he figured his friend would come up to eat the rice. The other man replied, “He will come up at the same time your friend comes up to smell the roses.”
Having set the scene, I will continue with this posting. On this cold blustery day in San Antonio, Texas I traveled twelve miles from my home to Fort Sam Houston’s National Cemetery. I placed fresh flowers on the grave of a great lady that was transported from this earthly realm to her just reward in God’s heavenly realm on the evening of Thursday, November 18, 2010 just one month and eight days before her seventy-ninth birthday. Our three daughters were present at her death, at her memorial and her interment, but unforeseen circumstances prevented them from being with me to visit her on this day.
Today is my wife’s birthday. She was born December 26, 1931 on an icy Saturday in a small south Georgia town. We met in 1952 and were married just four months later on a Saturday afternoon on the thirteenth day of December in 1952, and we completed fifty-eight years of marriage thirteen days ago on the thirteenth of this month, December of the year 2010.
To complete the fifty-eight years of marriage I included the days between her death on 18 November and our wedding anniversary date of 13 December. I included those days because we remain married and will always remain married, albeit on a spiritual level rather than on a physical level.
We are separated physically but our spirits are intertwined, an inextricable unity that will never be separated. I refuse to allow our marriage to dissolve simply because we exist in separate realms. Her spirit—her soul—has returned to God from whence it came. She is in heaven with Him and I remain on earth. I am well aware that adherence to our marriage vows will be more difficult for me than for her, but I readily accept the challenge and I will not falter.
I still wear my wedding ring on the ring finger of my left hand, and when I join my wife in the grave that contains her earthly remains—the same grave that will contain mine throughout eternity—that ring will still be in place. If it should be lost I will replace it, and if that replacement is lost I will purchase another, as many times as necessary. I also wear my wife’s 1949 high school graduation ring on the little finger of my right hand. That one will be a bit more difficult to replace, but I will make the effort should it happen.
Yes, in the same grave—with space at a premium in our national military cemeteries, husbands and wives share the same burial plot. I have no problem with that procedure, nor does my wife. We have discussed it at length over the past several years, and we agreed with the premise that the closer, the better. And on the subject of matter, the contents of our grave constitute mortal material matter only, as do the contents of every grave.
The immortal essence of that matter—the soul, given by the grace of God—was never there, having already gone to its promised reward before the remains were placed beneath the sod—its direction dependent, of course, on certain requirements having been met, a point that should be foremost in how we decide to live our lives.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
December 26, 2010 at 3:38 pm
“We are separated physically but our spirits are intertwined, an inextricable unity that will never be separated.”
I can only hope to have a marriage and love that strong someday. Thank you for sharing that love with us.
December 26, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Hi, Lauren—thanks for the visit and thanks for the comment. This posting will probably not generate many comments, but even if they come in avalanche numbers none will equal yours. Every word rings true in your expression of hope for a love and marriage as strong as the bond your grandmother and I shared for so many years and will continue to share—that bond still exists and will always exist, both in this world and in the after-world.
We in turn hope and pray that your hope will be realized—I believe that it will, and I know that Janie feels the same way. Your words reflect a maturity that is unfortunately lacking in far too many young adults in this day and age—that’s only my opinion, of course. I freely admit that I don’t know many young adults, but some that I do know would do well to emulate you, or at least try to the best of their ability—emulating you will not be an easy task for them!
l’ll pass your hopes for the future on to Janie in my next letter, and also on my next visit to Fort Sam Houston’s National Cemetery. Thanks again for the comment—we love it and we love you.