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A third letter to my wife in el cielo . .

31 Dec

Dear Janie,

This afternoon I dozed off while watching television in our den and I awoke with a start, looked around the room and said in a loud voice, “Where did you go? It was just like all the many times over the years when I would become preoccupied in reading or I would be snoozing and when I noticed your absence, whether by awakening abruptly or looking up from my reading, I would shout, “Where are you?” and you would answer that you were in the kitchen or that you were going to the bathroom or just returning from the bathroom, or something on the order of “I can’t do anything without you wondering where I am!”

The feeling of your presence in the den this afternoon was so strong, so powerful that it took me several seconds to realize that I had awakened to my new world, a world without you, the world that was created when you left me.

Perhaps I dreamed that you were here, but I have no recollection of dreaming. I have prayed every day since you left for you to come to me in a dream. I’ve prayed to Jesus and Mary and God and to all the apostles that I could remember, and to the gods of other religions—except to the god of those that would seek to destroy us and our nation.

In the thirty days since you left me I can recall dreaming only twice. Once I dreamed that Cindy and I were on a trip out to the southwest, shooting photography in every direction, and the other time involved a cat. I remember no details other than that there was a cat in my dream.

I want to dream. I need to dream. I need to see you in my dreams, to see that everything is all right with you and that you are safe and happy in your new world. I pray every night for you to come to me. I pray for other things and for other people, of course, but my thoughts of you and my longing for you are always uppermost in my mind, in my thoughts and in my prayers in all my waking hours.

Yes, I know that’s selfish. I probably should be praying for miraculous findings in the search for curing the diseases that shorten our lives, and for world peace and for the abolishment of hunger and suffering among third-world countries. I suppose I’ll get around to that when my prayers for you to come to me in my dreams are answered.

As for my awakening from sleep this afternoon and calling  for you, this is what I believe—I believe that you were in the den, that your spirit, your immortal soul, was there and in my dream, and although I was nestled deeply in the arms of Morpheus—asleep—I was aware in my subconscious mind that you were there, and that’s why I called out for you when I awoke.

I realize that all my erudite readers are familiar with the fact that Morpheus is the god of dreams in Greek mythology, a benevolent supernatural being between mortals and gods, a being that can take any human form and appear in dreams. Armed with that knowledge I do not find it necessary to explain the term, but a treatise and a painting of Morpheus may be found  here. The 1811 painting is Morpheus, Phantasos and Iris (Morpheus is the one reclining).

I did find it necessary to write and tell you that I was aware of your presence this afternoon. I thank you and I love you for being there for me, and I welcome you back whether I am awake, snoozing in the recliner or deep asleep in our bedroom.

I love you more today than yesterday, but less than tomorrow.

Sleep well in heaven, my darling.

Mike

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3 Comments

Posted by on December 31, 2010 in education, funeral, Humor, marriage

 

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3 responses to “A third letter to my wife in el cielo . .

  1. cindydyer

    January 2, 2011 at 1:16 am

    Remember that dream I told you about John Denver? How when I woke up from the dream, I felt lighter—and like I had finally met him, talked to him, and told him how much I loved his music? You said, “how do you know you didn’t really meet him?” You were open to that possibility…relating on another level…another plane. I think that is what’s happening here…and you will dream about her, Dad. I know that.

     
    • thekingoftexas

      January 2, 2011 at 6:20 am

      I had forgotten your John Denver dream and I love you for jogging my memory. That’s not the only reason I love you, of course. I love you because you are my daughter, but don’t swoon over that—society demands that I love you and besides, you’re just one of three such entities, so don’t go thinking that I love you more than the others and if you do believe that, don’t mention it to the others (shades of your grandmother Hester!).

      Just as an aside, I feel that we should find something to substitute for the word plane as used in your comment, given the facts surrounding John Denver’s death—remember? He was piloting a homemade aircraft when he crashed in Pacific Ocean waters rather than landing in California. Bummer!

      And while we are on the subject of planes, check out this web site: sweeticedtea.wordpress.com. As an Alabama-born person having lived in Louisiana and South Texas for a considerable number of years, you should appreciate the work of the women at that site—not even your years of living perilously close to the Mason-Dixon Line, that cultural boundary that separates the Yankee Northeast and Dixie, the Southern United States, has corrupted your Southern upbringing—check out that site and enjoy!

       
  2. thekingoftexas

    January 2, 2011 at 5:56 am

    Word Press tagged this as spam and relegated it to the garbage dump. At first glance I agreed with Word Press and almost—almost, mind you—rejected it. However, something held my attention so I checked out the http://sweeticedtea.wordpress.com/2010/12/28/tuesday-tip-christmas-light-storage/ site for no other reason than to find out what those two women are selling. As nearly as I could determine they aren’t selling anything, at least not specifically on that site. I realize that through other links a viewer may be enticed to buy something, and I can accept that, but as for the basic site, sweeticedtea.wordpress.com, I will follow it with all the southern passion with which I was born, and which I have managed to enhance over the considerable number of years I have lurked in this realm. I recommend sweeticedtea.wordpress.com to any and all, even those on the wrong side of the political spectrum. So there—that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

     

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