This posting was originally made in January of this year. I am reblogging it for five reasons—it’s timely, it’s well written, Word Press makes its reposting possible, reposting makes it more readily available to newcomers and finally—I like it!
Tag Archives: Hooters
A few minutes before I started this posting I suffered, and on a certain level enjoyed, my first exposure to a Hooter’s television commercial touting its More than a mouthful Monday offering. The commercial showed a closeup of a tray loaded with a prodigious amount of food laughingly termed a hamburger and served to Hooters’ customers on demand every Monday. This image does not show the Monday special—this appears to be chicken wings—but the shirts worn by the waitpersons reflect and effectively showcase the name of the restaurant chain—Hooters.
The More than a mouthful Monday slogan is a not-very-subtle reference to a sexual adage, one born in the mists of antiquity and one that exists in our lexicon to this day. Some women—those probably not eligible to be Hooter’s serving persons—maintain that in the matter of breast size, more than a mouthful is wasted, and some men support that adage—not many, perhaps, but some.
And here I must digress to report that there are some men that apply the same adage to themselves, namely that more than a mouthful is wasted, and some women support them in that belief—not many, perhaps, but some.
Picture this: A Hooter’s girl, one that has appeared in various commercials for the company, walks toward the camera with a heaping platter of food—the More than a mouthful Monday special. She holds the platter with one hand, on a level with her breasts, while in the background a beautiful buxom blond belle bellies up to the bar in a blouse that bares both breasts (how’s that for alliteration!). Her breasts are not completely bared, of course, but enough flesh shows to prompt a viewer to formulate an image of the entire area, a rather substantial plot whether defined in square inches, weight or lingerie size.
Projection: That which lies ahead of us is not just a matter of speculation. Soft-core pornography exists now, both on regular and cable television (cable pushes the envelope farther than does regular network television, but the gap is closing rapidly). I believe that hard-core porno, now available only on cable channels on a pay-per-view basis, will in the no-so-distant future be routinely aired, available to anyone of any age or gender. That availability will be limited only by their access to the television and their ability to select channels, either by pushing buttons on the television or by using the remote control.
Ultimately we will ascend to a society that protects free speech to its utmost limits, or we will descend into a cauldron of filth. We will ascend or descend depending on our individual preferences, but regardless of how we view the movement, it will be permitted and sanctioned by the First Amendment to our constitution. That amendment prohibits Congress from making laws infringing on certain rights, including a prohibition against infringing on our freedom of speech.
Hey, porn producers, directors, camera men, writers and perhaps most important, actors, cannot indefinitely be denied freedom of speech by being limited to pay-per-view cable channels. They view their products as art, and constantly seek to upgrade and improve their pubic—oops, I meant public, image. Such people and their products are protected by the First Amendment and its guarantee of free speech—they have a constitutional right to practice and purvey their specialties in all venues.
It will happen—it’s in our constitution, and it’s only a matter of time. I probably won’t be around to see it (bummer!), but most of our current population will be subjected to such television fare, whether willingly or unwillingly. And on further thought, perhaps I may be able to see it, either looking down on it or up to it—as the Spanish-speaking folks say:
“Quien sabe?” (who knows?)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
A friend forwarded this list to me, and I felt that it was worthy of sharing with anyone that stumbles upon my blog, whether deliberately or inadvertently. In order to separate the wheat from the chaff, I took the liberty of cleaning up some of the chaff that always accompanies any e-mail that has undergone innumerable forwardings. I also took considerable liberties in revising the e-mail, including adding colors and using italics and bold letters, all in the interest of improving presentation of the Top Ten items.
I have a favorite among the Top Ten, and on the off-chance that anyone happens to reach this point in their wandering around the internet, I would be interested to know which of the ten is your favorite (I’ll tell you mine if you’ll tell me yours!).
HERE ARE THE TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR COMPANY HAS JOINED THE GOVERNMENT’S PROPOSED HEALTH CARE PLAN:
You’ll know you’re on the government’s proposed health care plan if:
#10—Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
#9—Directions to your doctor’s office include Take a left as you enter the trailer park.
#8— The only proctologist in the plan is Gus, from RotoRooter.
#7—The tongue depressors used by your doctor taste faintly of fudgesicles.
#6—The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
#5—Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you donated to Goodwill last month.
#4—The statement that Patient is responsible for 200 percent of out of network charges is not a typographical error.
#3—The only expense covered 100 percent is embalming.
#2—Your Prozac pills are of different colors, and each pill is stamped M&M.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN THAT YOU’VE JOINED THE GOVERNMENT’S NEW HEALTH PLAN IS:
#1—You ask for Viagra and they give you two popsicle sticks and a roll of duct tape.