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How about an E for effort?

The following literary effort is presented exactly as I found it in my ramblings online—not a single letter, capitalization, punctuation, spacing, sentence construction, paragraphing or subject-to-object relationship has been changed.

I’m sharing this work with my readers because I consider it to be a teachable moment, not for my erudite followers but for those less erudite that may find their way to my blog. I cannot tell whether the author of this effort is male, female, both or neither.  However, I can tell that the work as literature violates virtually every rule in every How to Write Effectively manual ever published and every one that will ever be published.

The writing is presented below, just as I found it online:

Yesterday I read that in every January, the last seven days week’s Monday is the worst day of the year. This year it was 25th of January, yesterday. The most of my classmates said that it was really a bad day, but mine was pretty good. I felt good, I got good marks. But today? I was totally luckless. I burnt myself twice time, I felt kinda miserable, because of how I look like and how I dress; I don’t know why, but on chemic lesson my classmates wanted to spell homosexual on my “to-do diary”, it can be that I misunderstood something, but It has less chance. And to top this day, after having a great time with my friend (we baked, and it is delicious), I log on to Yahoo, and I got an offline message from the girl who have feelings for me: would you be my wife? and a “please” smiley. Wtf? Should I think that somehow she recognized my sexual identity by observing me? Because when I gave it a thought, I realized that the happiness I’ve been feeling all the days for a long time now, could be related to not wearing the mask all day long.

Edit: Problems solved. She only wrote it because my status was “baking and washing the dishes” so she felt like proposing, because I would make a perfect wife 😛 Well I hope I will! XDD

My conclusions regarding the work, just in the improbable event that anyone is interested in my conclusions:

In closing, I feel that this work—no, no, not my work, the work I found online—defies the usual alphabet scale of A, B, C, D and F, and neither do the scales of Pass/Fail, Good/Bad or Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory adequately apply.

I will happily give the author of the work a resounding E for Effort—a heartfelt Hear, Hear, a You go, girl—without regard to her or his or their sexual preferences or physical characteristics. At least he or she or they is/are trying, striving to communicate feelings and emotions to those both inside and outside his/ hers or their personal boundaries. Far too many of us for a multitude of reasons, not one of which is legitimate, refuse to make an effort to write—we are the ones that deserve the Fs and the Fail, Bad and Unsatisfactory grades.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

 
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Posted by on January 10, 2011 in education, grammar, Humor, marriage, Writing

 

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I am Narcissus . . .

Although I doubt that few people other than I, the King of Texas, will read this posting I will submit it anyway. I will submit it because I am afflicted with a Narcissus complex—I love myself and although I have unrealistic views of my qualities and abilities and little regard for those of others, I require constant reinforcement that can only be gained by comments on my postings.

In addition to my inflated self-image, my narcissism is characterized by an unusual coolness and composure, which is shaken only when my narcissistic confidence is threatened, ergo, my confidence is threatened by the lack of comments on my About the King of Texas page, on my It’s all about ME, ME, ME! page and on my numerous postings, all beautifully composed and presented and all supremely worthy of comments, laudatory or otherwise.

In the interest of full disclosure, I cheerfully admit that much of the above rant was plagiarized from YAHOO! I realize that plagiarism is illegal, unfair, unjust, immoral and probably fattening but the penalty is lessened when the plagiarizer is truthful up front—and I am stuffed with truthfulness!

For any viewer that may not believe that I would actually plagiarize, I can prove that I did—it can be verified here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070902221401AAM1NzN

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

 
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Posted by on June 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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